Flying by the seat of whose pants?
Gerrymaundering takes its toll on the comadre

By W. Tellmé Moore

Manitos y manitas, the social metronome swerves, changes lanes, accelerates, and prepares the masses for the tempo of the new social season. We're scarcely a month away from the white gloved moments that make some of us feel pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and gay.
My prima Pajuela Parker had a hand in writing this because as many of you may know I was away, far, far away having some down time at a spiritual retreat at which I learned how to focus my third eye and to replace the phrases "thinking outside of the box," "pushing the envelope," and "at the end of the day" with words far more meaningful and specific. Pajuela with her offbeat perspectives and her scintillating choice of words brings her own sabor to these news items.
Oh the paradox! On a recent Vegas jaunt these two physicians made a spectacle of themselves vying over the featured dancer Sweet Alyssa. The wives, plentifully supplied with chips and drinks, were blissfully unaware of their husbands' mad in flagrante delicto.
It's a dog's life. The glamorous Heights widow woman fell prey to the charms of the silent but deadly and muscled pool cleaner. Bewitched by this bronze Apollo, she allowed the elaborate bombazine to deprive her of her beloved Bichon Frise which she later had to retrieve in a bidding war on e-bay.
Strange on the range. This cattle singer's possessed of the ability to calm an entire herd of feisty Brahmas, but all that yodeling in a voice like Shanghai Wiley's has drawn the foreman's wife to him like a moth to the lantern's flame.
If it ain't baroque, don't fix it. This arquitecto who has marked the landscape with a heavy hand with that churrigueresque mansion north of Del Mar has gone too far. The vast profusion of detailed ornament has reportedly caused one faint-hearted neighbor to swoon. Perhaps he should have stuck to the ranch motif of the rest of the neighborhood.
Tryst and shout. At 7 a.m. the trysters seemed impervious to the stares of their fellow revelers in this northside coffee house downing a draught of java. Was that a propósito, wearing your Hilfiger tee inside out?
On the rocks. It was a Tiffany epiphany for this young deb who discovered that her flawless 10K was nothing more than a cubic zirconium. Will this couple's boat set sail or will it be dashed upon the rock?
Moments colored in a golden light. These two have found utopia of the heart, and you can see it in the way they greet each other and in the quiet times in which they do not rely on words to say that a moment might be rich, rarified, and colored in a golden light. Day's end finds them witnesses to the glory of the evening sky; and yet they say they are waiting to find their context.
Flibbertigibbety. Everyone in the gallery was aware of the silly restless actions of these dueling art divas. The former protégé painted her royal purple comadre in burnt umbrage after the reigning queen called her a talentless hack.
Gerrymaundering. She can't even have her peace and quiet in the salon, and the snubs are getting to be a bit much for this comadre whose only sin is having a beau in the thick of the fray.
Tripmaster Monkey. Now that the kids are grown and out of the house, this downtown couple are reliving the halcyon days of their youth and early wooing. Stepping out on the town, they were seen tripping the light fantastic, but in a good way, right?
If this trailer's a-rockin'. . . . He blew into town like a high plains drifter. His 18-wheeler cutting a wide swathe amongst the Forerunners and Tahoes in her tony cul-de-sac. Her initial embarrassment over the cherry-red fringe in the cab and the tats and the muscle-shirts has given way to adoring contentment.
Honey don'ts. Our fly boy has become famous for his between the sheets performance of the Immelmann Maneuver, dazzling housewives and flight attendants alike.