This butt's for you

I couldn't resist the metaphor, but can you imagine a better way to characterize the latest fashion trend of women flashing their bare butts?
It's cool to be conversant about the butt trends at chi chi cocktail parties, especially if some of the girls at the party are showing off their tush.
I avidly researched Gray's Anatomy plus the latest edition of Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary to find some interesting data about different types of buttocks, AKA nates!
The trendy USA is such a mixture of ethnic groups that it's not uncommon to find a variety of butts in cities across the country.
The saddle butt is low slung to provide comfort for horseback riders and excitement for the cowboys. Country-western dance halls are havens for saddle butts in tight jeans.
The gone but not forgotten Selena enhanced her career with a large derriere, and J Lo dresses to show off her ample, athletic behind in its best light.
Some women sport a tabletop butt so their dancing partner can have a safe place to stash a Corona with lime while they glide across the waxed floor.
Bubble butts are fun in an elevator or big crowds; wide butts create havoc in theater row seats. These butts are high maintenance for airline travels due to the seat surcharge.
The variety of nates from which to choose in unending.
However. . . .
The piece du resistawnz, is women with "decollenage."
Low-cut rear, below-the-waist clothing that reveals a sexy cleavage is the new rage.
Rules of dietary abstinence are essentials for these moderately risqué ladies. Cabbage, peanuts, beans, and beer are no-nos.
Lawn, director, and rattan chairs are off limits.
No more game watching from the bleachers.
The Estee Lauders of the world are in heaven over the obvious expansion of their market.
Med school students are applying for a residency in cosmetic surgery.
Attorneys are excited about an added feature to malpractice lawsuits.
Which butt's for you?
Finally, no matter how uninformative and banal the recent debate; do as Mr. Sanchez says, don't abstain as he does.
Vote for your favorite candidate on November 5th!