I was talking to Kay Wavos, political saboteur, who surfaced only briefly last month to write the scintillating piece on how the Webb County commissioners might be able to make it rain (LareDOS, Vol. IX, No. 5 May 2003, page 4, or www.laredosnews.com) and on other matters that included the consideration of José Valdez, Sr., for County Road and Bridge Superintendent.
In typical erudite Kay Wavos style she also touched on the doggedness of some members of the court in pursuing their pet agenda items (choice of tax collection attorneys for the county) and what they were willing to leverage with each other to have their way. Please add to that list "favorite way to design build a youth village" and make note that it does not take a village idiot to build a youth village.
Wavos reported her mail bag was chockful of the usual laudatory and goda-hell sentiments. Only one piece of mail, she reported, called the lampoon by its name, a lampoon.
"One little lampoon can let the sin vergüenzas know everyone is on to them. 'Porque me da la mera gana' is not a justification for any county action that results in the expenditure of county taxpayer funds," Wavos waxed. "The citizenry of Webb County is not asleep at the wheel, and these buffoons need to understand that when they step way over the line there is usually a heavy-hearted county employee at the ready with evidentiary paper work that attests to their shenanigans," Wavos continued by short wave radio from an undisclosed location in another hemisphere.
She added, "Ironically, though the lampoon used only fictitious names, I had some very important folks call to say it had not been the case that they had strong-armed so-and-so. En fin, se entregáron.
"This administration has hit a rock wall in trying to get a grip on how county business moves forward. There are rumors that a former high level county executive has been approached to return, except he's kinda busy trying to build an international railroad bridge. There are rumors that department heads call the former county judge not only to vent but to ask if directives they have been given are legal," Wavos continued.
"For me the writing was on the wall with that first bevy of attorneys heading up this administration's front-line front office. It's etched in stone now, not unlike tombstone writing I might add, with this administration's decision that public information for queries about county business have to go through an out of town public relations firm, to wit the firm that handled the judge's run for office, a firm that handles election polls and phone banks. Do you know how frightening that looks to a journalist?" Wavos asked incredulously, adding, "And why would any self-respecting mexicano spell Dan with two Ns?"
Wavos said that a couple of queries into the lampoon and the cover of the May issue of LareDOS (Judge Bruni as Gene Kelly, Commissioner Gutierrez as Debbie Reynolds, Commissioners Velasquez and Vasquez as Danny Kaye) inquired into why Commissioner Cortez was not included in the cover artwork. Wavos said, "I'm not sure if it's because the publisher knows that for eight years, Mr. Cortez, upon seeing a copy of LareDOS, walks straight to a trash bin in the old courthouse or because his picture was not available on the County's official web site. Probably both."
For those of us who keep an eye on government, it's clear there is something amiss in county government, some indicator that the machine is not firing on all pistons, and that some members of the court feel that county business can be conducted beyond the cast of light of open government. It is clear, too, that some agenda items and the highly transparent actions of some commissioners have more to do with the lining of personal pockets and not the county's operating budget. Heads up, boys, whether you are defiantly shredding an open records request in broad daylight or peddling shortlisting for new hires or making known your personal choice for how bidding is handled for youth villages, the gig's up. Your sleight of hand may work under tables in another county where you have become a self-anointed consultant, but they won't fly here. And speaking of flies, the ointment in that nearby county looks damned rancid.
If ever there was a time, given the grim news coming down the legislative pike, to step up to the plate and to act honorably in the best interest of all the citizens of Webb County, that would be now.

If there's smoke,
is there always fire?
On another front, LareDOS made an open records request to try to substantiate whether Fire Department Captain Fernando Alarcón wrecked and paid for from his own pocket a piece of City-owned equipment (a small flatbed trailer that hauls oxygen tanks), an alleged set of choices that allegedly obviated filling out an official accident report and the subsequent drug test.
As you know, in Laredo rumores fly faster than the speed of light and so before our query is back from City Hall in an official way, we've dealt with a heap of phone calls and visiting firefighters looking for the new issue of LareDOS.
At press time, what we do know from sources at City Hall is that the incident took place May 22, 2003, that the damage was treated as damage to a piece of equipment and not a vehicle (which would not require a drug test), that it was reported in full by Captain Alarcón through the Fire Department's chain of command (Chiefs Espinola, Piton, and Reyes), and that the old homemade trailer ended up at Tim's for repairs that the City will pay ($242).
LareDOS did learn that upper level management downtown had concerns with the handling of the incident and has directed for absolute adherence to City policy the next time such an incident arises. As to actual consequence to Captain Alarcón, he was suspended for eight hours and reprimanded for neglect of duty and lack of supervision of the inexperienced cadets who attached the trailer to his truck.

Reign of Error Underway at LISD
Vuelve A La Vida Part II:
Yo no ordene ese cocktel.
And on yet another front, the saga of that bizarre spectacle of reorganization at Laredo Independent School District continues. Now that all our friends have joined us at fabulous salaries, one of the previously pigeonholed, the Davy Jonesed, and the de-commissioned have come back to life. The Ghostess with the mostest has been summoned from custodial Siberia to re-claim an assistant superintendency, big bucks and all.
Oofah, all those platitudes and quejas recorded for posterity at the recent board meeting at which trustees took their oath of office. It was a veritable love fest between Webb County Judge Louis H. Bruni and some of the trustees he swore in.
Board President Dr. Dennis Cantu advised his detractors they would "have to sharpen their knives a little harder next time." He said school district employees who supported his opponent in the May 3 race for trustee had "flawed ethics" and "flawed dedication to this district," words that bore the knell of a warning.
Cantu also took issue with former superintendent Vidal Treviño, whom he didn't name, speaking of him as one who "sued this district and board members personally and now worked against us. What kind of flawed ethics are those? Do we want a school named after that?"
And, oh, the umbrage some of those LISD trustees took with their treatment in the press -- discounting the daily's coverage of their board decisions and foibles as editorials disguised as news stories (not so!) and our own as well. Mr. José Valdez, in response to being called babosos by LareDOS, said he wouldn't stoop to the lexicon of the barrio to answer (this from a man who told the publisher of this publication, "Yo también te puedo sacar la garra.")

Safe & Never Sorry
Zero to Seventy is the theme of a new self-help video reportedly being put together by a school district administrator who has very quickly ascended (no, was catapulted, mejor jettisoned) from entry level pay grade to a reported Grade 11. Two of the most compelling exercises on the workout video are called "Breathless from Backslapping" and "When to Kick A, When to Kiss A."

DA Rubio on the Record
Regarding last month's lead story ("Recycling Joe Valdez"), LareDOS heard from District Attorney Joe Rubio who wanted to go on the record to say that his views on his choice for tax attorneys for the county were not private. "I thought that particular group was not the most qualified," he said of the firm that was selected.
Regarding an alleged "leveraging" conversation between his office and Commissioners Vasquez and Cortez, Rubio said it never happened.