To the publisher,
As Yogi Berra once said, "It was deja vu all over again." It seems, Ms. Guerra, that we have covered this ground before. However, as you seem not to have learned how to professionally and appropriately address your perceived grievances, I will once again add my proverbial two cents and correct some of the more egregious errors you made in your latest diatribe against the United States Border Patrol (USBP).
Claim: "NEWS FLASH: We are not going to win the War on Drugs until Americans remove themselves from the user end of the business equation of buying and selling drugs."
Fact: You are absolutely correct in this statement. However, you imply that it is therefore unnecessary or inappropriate to fight it as it cannot be won. This is incorrect. To follow this logic would imply that no battle or war that cannot be won should be fought. NEWS FLASH, Ms. Guerra: We are not going to win the War on Rape, Robbery, and Murder until Americans keep themselves from raping, robbing, and killing each other. To follow your logic would have us forego criminally interceding in these crimes and focus solely upon education, which is, of course, ludicrous.
Claims: "Here I was in the company of two recent arrivals from Crackerlandia and a Mexican American...", "One of the Sierra-Memos (hillbillies) and the mexicano agent...", Cracker One was telling Cracker Two..."
Fact: I honestly had to read these statements several times to truly comprehend that you did indeed refer to Anglo agents as crackers. Are you serious?? I once questioned your journalistic integrity and credentials and then retracted my statements, saying it was inappropriate. I would now like to retract my retraction. You are no journalist -- you are a bigot. A true journalist addresses matters in an unbiased, rational matter. They report the news using facts, not hyperbole. He or she does not call people (particularly those of other races, ethnicity, or creeds) bad names like some little schoolgirl who is upset because some boys spoiled her playtime. Or better yet, act like the Jerry Springer of Laredo who, unable to engage in substantive, focused journalism, has stooped to the level of shock, bigotry, and name-calling. This is not good journalism; it flies in the face of every accepted journalism practice in existence.
You're no better than David Duke, Jerry Falwell, Louis Farrakhan, or any Ku Klux Klan member.
What does it say when a self-appointed watchdog stoops to the level of utilizing racial epithets?? I am sure that if I were to call you some equally repulsive, racially-charged name, particularly in a professional context, that you would be on the phone in less than 30 seconds to file your complaint. You'd want my job. I have no doubt of this. So, how are you excused?? I'd really like to hear you attempt to justify such inane drivel.
Incidentally, where exactly is "Crackerlandia"?? I've looked on all my maps but I cannot seem to find it....
There is a school of thought that believes education is the way in which to combat racism and bigotry. That theory just took a major blow, in my opinion. You seem educated -- you write passably well and have an adequate vocabulary. Yet you are still, without a doubt, a bigot. It seems that education did not work in your case. If ignorance is bliss, then you must be one of the happiest people on earth.
I truly pity you -- any credibility you may have had is gone.
Claim: "I told them I didn't appreciate their interruption of our Christmas Eve quietude or our hunting operation, which is a key source of revenue for the ranch."
Fact: It is unimportant whether or not you appreciate that interruption or not. They do not ask for nor need your approval or permission to do their job. If they waited to do their job until it was convenient for everyone, nothing would ever get done. Does the FBI, United States Secret Service, or, hell, even the Laredo Police Department need your convenience and approval to do their jobs?? Of course not. The job of the US Border Patrol is done because that is the mandate from the people of the United States and its government. It does not rest on the shoulders of one little woman residing in her little corner of the world.
A crime is a crime, Ms. Guerra. If one is being committed, the agents will do their job in a timely fashion, with or without your approval.
By the way, ask Joe Martin if he appreciates the USBP. Maybe he'll tell you about the time USBP agents tracked down, on foot over many miles, the illegal alien who had broken into his ranch house and stolen tens of thousands of dollars worth of cash, jewelry, and various other miscellaneous goods. The alien even tried to bribe the arresting agents with $5,000 to let him go. He was refused, prosecuted for theft and burglary, imprisoned, and ultimately deported. Mr. Martin was returned all of his stolen property.
Of course it also speaks wonders about you that your complaint is that the agents interrupted your Christmas Eve and you, in your selfishness, did not. Did you stop to consider that the agents' Christmas Eve was spent, not comfortable at home with family, like yours, but out busting their butts doing a tough and dangerous job. Perhaps your Christmas was more important than theirs?? I continually marvel at the selfishness of some people.
And it amuses me that you have no problem accepting the money of the white hunters (you know -- the crackers) that frequent your ranch and provide that "key source of revenue," all the while despising them. I wonder, do you show them your little rag and let them read how you feel about them?
Claim: "The agent was polite, un mexicano, a good apple (sic)."
Fact: You place the words "un mexicano" is this description as if it lends credibility to your claim he was "a good apple". Again you demonstrate your bigotry. Why were the words "un mexicano" necessary?? No, you simply imply that, because he was Mexican-American that he was a good guy and, by default, those that are not Mexican-American are not. You have some serious issues that you need to address, in my humble opinion.

Claim: "Our encounter had all the potential for a heated debate on why I believe his agency vastly misspends taxpayer dollars. Luck for him, I was on deadline."
Fact: I'm your Huckleberry. You want to debate the need for a Border Patrol?? Fine, I'm game. I'd be happy to embarrass you in such a debate. I say this because, unlike you, I support my claims with facts, statistics, moral and ethical rationales as well as with historical precedence. I do not, as you do, espouse and utilize hyperbole, platitudes, puddle profundities and circumscribed tools (if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail). You merely rant and print your little racist diatribes as if their mere existence on paper validates them and makes them true. I have heard not one single shred of supporting evidence in your three articles against the USBP. A little research would do wonders for your arguments, although you generally do not make arguments - you insult.
So, if you wish to debate the merits of the Border Patrol, put up or shut up, as the saying goes. Just bring it.
It'll be fun.

Claim: "The encounter made me wonder what really do they teach these young fellows besides a minimum of Spanish and no cultural guidelines? What do they really know about the culture, values and the way of life of the inhabitants of the ranchlands and cities on the border....."
Fact: What do USBP agents need to know?? They are not here, Ms. Guerra, to embrace or reject, approve or disapprove of any culture or set of values. They are here to enforce, without bias or prejudice, a set of laws passed by the legislators of this country. They're here to do a job - end of story. Their private lives might be better off knowing something about the culture and values of the place in which they live, but that should not change how they do their job. So long as agents do their job within legislative, judicial and executive guidelines, culture should be a non-issue.
Yet it amazes me that you can, with a straight face and looking at yourself in a mirror, say that USBP agents need cultural and value training for the border area and its people when, not five paragraphs prior, you called Anglo agents "crackers." You, a racist and bigot, demand that every other ethnicity respect you and yours?? Your logic, if you can call it that, escapes me. Again, you have serious issues.
I would also mention that if you are representative of the culture and values of this area that most agents would be better off remaining ignorant.
I will not go into the logistical impossibility of training each agent in the particular values and culture of each and every city along the US/Mexico/Canada border. Or do you, perhaps, pretend that they are all the same??

Claim: "Christmas Eve. What were the exigent circumstances that necessitated their visible, voluble, and palpable presence on my ranch..."
Fact: They don't need any. Exigent circumstances is another way of saying emergency. The USBP does not need an emergency to enter onto private lands within 25 miles of the border to patrol for the purpose of detecting and preventing illegal entries into this country. That authority is give them under two different sections of Immigration Law : INA 235 and INA 287. In other words, they can enter onto any private lands within 25 miles of the border to simply check if any aliens are or have crossed. They do not need an emergency. Now, in order to go into a home, then either exigent circumstances, a warrant or consent is needed. Not, however, to enter mere property, on Christmas Eve or any other day.
Obviously the USBP prefers amicable relations with the ranchers in the area they work, but it is not necessary. It is just neighborly and polite. I would argue it is extremely important to maintain good relations with ranchers; however, it is not statutorily necessary, just good sense. Some agents are better than others in respecting rancher's wishes and feelings, but the agency itself does not need their approval, appreciation or permission.
Its ironic that you have a problem with the US Border Patrol, a designated federal law enforcement agency, entering onto your land but seem to have no similar problem with the millions of illegal aliens that enter the United States' property every year, including yours. If it is some sort of trespassing for USBP agents who legally enter property to look for people, is it not exponentially worse if people, not even citizens of this country, do so illegally?? Your logic again fails to track.
Remember that research comment I made?? This would be a good time to start doing that very thing, in order to avoid future embarrassing errors like that last comment of yours.

All in all, Ms. Guerra, you seem to want the USBP to respect you, while, at the same time, you engage in actions far more insulting, derogatory and childlike (you really enjoy calling USBP agents "youngsters", "peach fuzz-faced jovenes", etc. while you are the one engaging in all the name calling like a little kid. Who is being more childlike, I ask?) than any you have illustrated or been subjected to.
If you have problems with individual agents driving too fast on your property - report them. But please do not stereotype. If you have a problem with the mission of the USBP - again, fine. It is your right, but you please do not insult the agents out there busting their butts and risking their lives trying to do the job of protecting U.S. interests and its borders from invaders. You remind me of the Vietnam War protesters who hated the war, so they went to the airport to spit on the soldiers. You don't like the USBP's mission?? Fine, but don't spit on the agents only doing their job.
So, in that you were too afraid to ride along with some agents and educate yourself with regards to this topic you are so fond of pontificating about as if you know what you are talking about while, in reality, you are quite shockingly ignorant, I await your next tirade of pedantic platitudes about the USBP. They are comical, if nothing else.
Stop the presses! I forgot something:
Claim: "Its true - I've carried a grudge since 1966 for not being named Student of the Month".
Fact: Although this honor did not exist in 1966, I have taken it upon myself to start a petition of agents who wish to recognize your merit and worth and award you, however belatedly, this coveted award. I am collecting signatures at this very moment. Worry not, Ms. Guerra, the agents will fight for you and we will address this grievous oversight. This will be taken all the way to the Attorney General, if need be. You will not be forgotten.
This is said even though everything you say dishonors the memory of the two agents that have died in the line of duty in Laredo in the last year and the countless others that have been injured, assaulted or fired upon in the line of duty. But, even though you spit on us, should the need arise to track down and arrest any aliens, smugglers or narcotics traffickers who have violated you or your property, we'll be there because that is what we do - we serve.
So we'll be there - hopefully with your Student of the Month award in hand.

Sincerely,

Montie Guthrie
aka Cracker Three

PUBLISHER'S NOTE

Mr. Guthrie,
Get a life! OpEd = opinion.
Is this the only job you are going to have? Aren't you a young fellow, the same agent who bullies up at the end of heated discussions in your university classes with "See ya' at the checkpoint!" You're not using the color of your uniform and badge to have the last word, are you? Does your vast and well-staffed agency need you to defend it? We ran the entirety of your vented spleen, but for the Full Monty, please go to www.laredosnews.com
And, hey, your pals who send all that goofy anonymous survivalist hate mail, tell them to save the stamps.
Have a nice day.

María Eugenia Guerra
Publisher

Dear Meg,
Upon reading "USBP and me, Part II; get your own damn ranch," I am moved to paraphrase: "Vicente Fox, fix your own damn problems."
Don't send your problems to my ranch to break into my ranch house to poop and urinate on the furniture to vent their hatred on us gringos.
Don't send them to Houston to overwhelm our hospitals and schools with special welfare demands.
Don't send them to Texas to contribute so disproportionately to school-dropouts, to crime, to our populations, to the negative image of Hispanics.
Don't tell us they pay income taxes. To the contrary, because they don't make enough income to pay taxes, they are rewarded by earned income credits, which means tax rebates provided by those of us who do pay income taxes.
Don't tell us they do work of a type no American citizen will do. This same argument was used by plantation owners to justify importing African slaves. Importing "cheap" labor means that American workers cannot compete; so turn to government welfare to live. This means that the children of wetbacks, now Americanss will not do wetback-type work. We then have to import endless waves of more "cheap" labor, while more and more of our citizens live off our government.
Unlike the skilled people which Fidel Castro drove to our shores, the flood of immigrants you are sending us, Señor Fox, are resisting integration into the American mainstream, even refusing to learn English.
In my eyes, then, the thin green line of the USBP is offering our only resistance to this plague that is undermining my country's standard of living. I am very grateful to Cracker I and Cracker II, plus their turncoat Mexicano comrade. I would love to multiply their number and raise their salaries. Next time you see them, tell them that if they wish to patrol ranches they are welcome to patrol mine near Aguilares.